


Superbatbuns

by Icedlemon



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Crime Fighting, Fluff, M/M, Pets, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-05-17 17:05:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14835689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icedlemon/pseuds/Icedlemon
Summary: A new world's finest arise! Superbun and Batbun, each with identical personalities and abilities as their human parallel.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I got this idea when I was out eating steamed buns with my family at a restaurant, then somehow my sleep-deprived brain imagined Batman as the steamed bun in front of me, and thus this fic was born.

Batman stared at the sight in front of him. 

  
The collapsed beam which almost killed him now hovered in mid-air, supported by a thing. 

  
Batman wasn't sure how to describe it, a tiny round piece of blue dough with an equally tiny red cape attached to its back should suffice. Oh, and it has that S on its forehead. 

  
It floated up, carrying the beam away and threw it next to a heap of ruins, then flew back to check on the civilians. 

  
That cape and strength...I really need to talk to Clark, Bruce mused.  

  
After making sure everyone was safe and the villains secure, he leapt into the Batwing and took to the sky. 

  
As the Batwing approached the Watchtower, Bruce noticed that the thing was beside him, then realized in a sudden shock that it has eyes, blue as lapis, which melts into the equally blue background of its body. It blinked, huge and innocent. 

  
Before Bruce could form a single rational thought, it sped away in a line of blue and red towards the Watchtower. 

  
Bruce cursed his life. He must be hallucinating. Yes, a coffee would do the job.  

  
~~~ 

  
He later discovered that he was not hallucinating. The thing was floating all over the Watchtower, bouncing up and down with glee and stealing all the cookies. Clark was nowhere to be found. 

  
Bruce tapped his comm. "Clark, where are you?" 

  
"Bruce! I was just about to call you...I'm in my dorm right now, there's something I wanna show you-" 

  
"There's something I want to show you as well..." Batman glanced at the floating blue blob next to him. It seemed to like him a lot. 

  
"Really? Alright, I'm waiting!"  

  
He turned off the comm. Looking at the blob, he wondered how to communicate with it. "Come," he said, and felt utterly idiotic as soon as those words left his mouth. Surprisingly, it followed him. 

  
"So, you understand what I'm saying?" Batman snorted, "chatting with a blue blob, I must have gone mad..." 

  
It glared unapprovingly at him, but he ignored it and went on. 

  
"Come on, let's go." 

  
~~~ 

  
Bruce discovered that he did not go mad. Sitting on Clark's bed was a blob alike the one floating beside him, except that it has two pointy ears and was black from head to toe. 

  
Clark's face brightened when he saw Bruce, and further when he saw the thing orbiting him. "I see you've met my new friend, Bruce!" 

  
"You...know it?" 

  
"Yeah, he hatched just yesterday!" 

  
"...hatched?" 

  
"From the eggs the guardians gave us! Our last mission with the lanterns, remember?" 

  
Of course he'd remember. As thanks, the guardians of the green lanterns gave them each a perfectly spherical egg, said it'll be a great joy to have in their lives. But then, being Batman means there is no time to spend on hatching eggs and raising pets, so he'd forgotten all about it for the whole week now. 

  
"I just didn't expect them to actually hatch." 

  
"They did! And look at your bun! It's as broody and adorable as you!" Clark laughed as he gave the batbun a poke. It hissed. 

  
"Sorry, what did you just say? A buh-un...?" 

  
"Yes! This is Batbun and that's Superbun!" 

  
Upon hearing its name, Superbun flew towards Clark and stayed on his shoulder, eyes twinkling.

  
 Bruce stared at the Batbun. It stared back, a thousand emotions crossing its white silted eyes. 

  
Finally, Bruce gave up. "I need coffee," he muttered before leaving the room.

  
~~~

  
Superbun followed Bruce out of the room, then everywhere else. It watched Bruce pour his coffee, then perched on the table as he drank it, watching with those ridiculously huge eyes.

 

"You want some?" 

  
It looked uncertain.

  
"Yeah, you'd probably hate it. I have no idea what you like to eat apart from cookies."

  
Superbun leapt into the air and spun around Bruce upon hearing the word "cookies". 

  
"Alright, okay, fine." Rethinking all his life choices, Bruce finished the coffee in one gulp and got his laptop. He opened a tab, an online shopping website with thousands of cookie photos and their respective prices. "So, what do you want?"

  
~~~

  
Barry sped back to the Watchtower, his hands full of crates and crates of bakeries. God knows who they're for, whoever they are must be someone really awesome to be treated cookies by Batman.

  
He dumped the craters on the floor. "That's the last of 'em, Bats!" Surveying the mountains of cookie boxes in front of him, he asked, "just curious, but who are these for? Not even I have such an appetite!"

  
Bruce opened his mouth to reply, but suddenly a blue blob appeared out of nowhere and began attacking the boxes. Bruce signed and mumbled something lost to history.

  
"Oh."

  
~~~

  
Days have passed since he'd first met Superbun, and it has never stopped to follow Bruce. It would look on with interest whenever he was working on a case, and had even fought crime together. It was like a tiny portable Clark following him everywhere, and somehow that made him feel weirdly content.

  
But something soon came to mind: these guys have the same power, thoughts, personalities and abilities as their human counterparts. So that means a need for a contingency plan if anything goes south.

  
But he can't do that, with Superbun going wherever he goes.

  
And thinking up a contingency plan for a miniature him is going to be harder than he thought.

  
So he gave up on that idea. Anyways, what could a blob do? Destroy the world?

  
And, although he'd hate to admit it, but these guys were pretty cute. He could never bring himself to hurt them in any way.

  
He glanced at Superbun next to him, fast asleep. Its round body heaved up and down, slowly and rhythmically. He brushed its only strand of hair, a perfect S, to the side.

  
He wondered how Batbun is doing with Clark right now.

  
~~~

  
Batbun grappled all over Clark's apartment, obviously dissatisfied.

  
"I know, the fuses are burnt, but hey! It's not that much of a deal!" Clark rushed around the house on Batbun's tail. "I even made you a bed! See?" He pointed at a tiny makeshift sofa next to his bed. 

  
Batbun glared and grappled onto the main electric switch.

  
"Where do those grapples even come from..." 

  
A second later, and the lights which have not been on for at least a year, blazed to life. Batbun leapt down from the ledge, and sat perched on the fridge, facing the television.

  
Clark followed its line of sight. "You wanna watch tv?" 

  
Batbun twitched its ears.

  
Clark turned on the TV. It was the news channel. Reports of crime and disasters rolled on and on, he could almost feel the room becoming gloomier. Batbun watched in silence, its eyes narrowing with every passing second.

  
Suddenly, without warning, it leapt down, cape spreading behind it, and landed onto Clark's laptop. It eyed him, impatient and broody.

  
And yet he still found this cute. He laughed at Batbun's annoyed expression, which caused it to hiss in hostility.

  
_Just like Bruce..._

  
He turned on his laptop, and immediately, Batbun opened a hacking file which Clark has no idea where it came from, and began smashing away on the keys. Line after line of alien language, and yet Batbun seemed to have no difficulty in executing the text.

  
So it seems that Batbun has the same abilities at Bruce... Clark mused. Curious to know what was going on, he asked. "What is that?"

  
Batbun eyed him as if he were an idiot, then typed in a different font.

  
_Lexcorp_

  
"You're hacking into Lexcorp? What did you find?"

  
Batbun clicked on a group of text in the file, causing a tab to pop up. It jumped aside, letting Clark have a good look of the webpage.

  
It was one of Lexcorp's secret files, and this one was about kryptonite. Hundreds of pounds of it, all hidden in one location, and ready to be shipped in a few days time. 

 

Clark's blood went cold. Lex was planning something big.

  
He scrolled down, absorbing more information until he felt sick. Hundreds of pounds of kryptonite! Alarmed, he flew around the apartment until the knot in his stomach died down.

  
He planned to call Bruce, then decided against it. He'd probably ask him to stay out of the way to avoid getting hurt, but Clark really needed to punch Lex himself.

  
No, he can do this on his own. With Batbun, of course.

  
"Uh, Batbun? Can you help me find more information?"

  
Batbun leapt onto the laptop and resumed business.

  
_This is a mess. Lexcorp is shipping kryptonite, and I'm working with a bun to solve this_. Clark mused, his thoughts everywhere at once. _I really hope Bruce won't kill me._

  
Suddenly, he remembered Superbun. _I wonder if Bruce's getting along with him?_

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Two days since Bruce's met Superbun, and it has already proven itself to be even more troublesome than Catwoman.

Bruce observes the security feeds in front of him, rubbing his tired eyes. It shows that Superbun is currently in the bathroom, making a mess out of the bath bombs in the sink just to get the toys in them. Having accomplished its goal, it speeds away to somewhere else, and Bruce lost visual of it once again.

"A tracking device would be nice," said Alfred, appearing out of nowhere. One of his superpowers.

"I thought I was the one with trust issues."

"Yes, but this little fella has ransacked all my snack storages in less than a day." Alfred approaches him, and hands him a glass of green juice.

Bruce scoffs and takes the juice, inspecting it carefully. "I'm sure we can afford more."

"Are you considering buying the snack company as well? I'm not sure what excuses we can make up this time. Oh! Perhaps, I need unlimited junk food to support my alien pet, Mr. Fox, would that suffice?"

Bruce glared, but that, of course, has no effect on Alfred.

Signing, he goes back to the Batcomputer. Tonight  is unusually quiet. Only a few muggers stopped, nothing else. 

Something tells me that there's more... He goes back to scanning the city's streets and did a fifth check of the cells in Arkham. So far so good.

"Perhaps you should take an early night's leave, Master Bruce? After all, there's nothing to see here."

Reluctantly, Bruce leaves the computer and went to his room, and finds Superbun waiting on his bed, bouncing up and down with anticipation.

Of course, damned superhearing.

He calls Clark. "Hey, I'm going to sleep now, aren't you going to join me?"

The reply comes only after 5 seconds later, compared with the usual 0.6 seconds.

"Hey Bruce, I'm...busy right now. Sorry if I can't make it tonight..."

Bruce notices the burning sounds in the background. "What's that noise?"

"Oh, that's the sun...just checking it out."

Weird. Clark never just go and checks out the sun. "Okay."

A long pause. More crackling and hissing sounds. "Well then, goodnight Clark." 

"Goodnight, Bruce!" He hangs up immediately.

Scrambling out of bed, he heads straight for the batcave, Superbun on his tail. Hurriedly, he puts on the batsuit, gears and plates clicking into place.

"Leaving again? Master Bruce?"

"Something weird is going on with Clark. I won't be long, I promise." He leaps into the Batwing, and with an intense blue light, the machines whirred to life, and took off to the misty Gotham sky.

Alfred signs, narrowing his eyes from the wind. "And I thought that you could finally get some sleep..."

~~~

Clark admires the view in front of him. Several hundred pounds of kryptonite explodes into millions of tiny fragments, then decomposes due to the intense heat. A massive green fog briefly shades the sun, but that too evaporates.

Clark wipes his nose and smiles. "We did good work here, partner!" 

Batbun looks at him quizzically.

Oh right, there is no sound in space.

He motions with a finger, and Batbun floated into his hand, ready to return. Enclosing it with just the right force, he feels the soft and round body of it pressing against his palm, vibrating so slightly that you'd only feel it if you concentrate.

And he zips back to Earth.

~~~

Batman doesn't even need to ask to know that this was Clark.

Still glowing lines from the heat vision stood out like scars, and dented metals hanging on their hinges swayed dangerously in the mist of the ruins.

Bruce still can't believe Clark decided to raid Lexcorp's kryptonite on his own. Without telling him.

A sonic boom from the sky catches his attention. That idiot is finally here.

Clark lands gentler than he used to. Seeing Bruce, his face lights up, but immediately becomes clouded.

Bruce storms towards the blue boy scout. "What do you think you were doing!? Going after kryptonite all by yourself?!"

Clark releases Batbun and holds up his hands in front of him. "Hey, it's okay. I didn't get into trouble with kryptonite this time."

"You could have!" Bruce hissed, his face mere centimeters from Clark's.

He took a few steps back unconsciously. "No, I couldn't. I've got Batbun! He helped me hack into all their security systems and their weapons! He actually helped me, unlike you, Bruce, who would have just told me to stay away and do everything on your own!"

Bruce inhales deeply and looks away. 

"No sarcastic comeback? That's new." Clark scoffed.

He glares. "Don't you ever do that again."

"Fine, I'm...I'm sorry for going out without telling you, but I had it under control!"

"Your control or Batbun's?"

Clark wilters under Bruce's threatening glare and looks at Batbun for support. It only watches the drama passively.

He signs. "Alright...I'm sorry, and I won't do it again. Ever." 

Bruce let out a humph. "You idiot," he mutters and strides back to the Batwing, where Superbun's tiny head is poking out from the front window.

"So... that means I'm forgiven?" Clark gives a hopeful smile.

"You wish."

"Let me make it up to you, Bruce!"

"Codenames!" 

"Look, you told me earlier that you were going to sleep, so...maybe I can-"

The next few words are drowned by the roar of the Batwing's engines, and with a flashing blue light, it blasts to the sky. Clark flew behind it to catch up.

Flying side by side with Batwing, he peeked inside, and found Bruce with a smile on his face. So, he did forgive me after all, he thought happily.

Unfortunately, Batman was a mind-reader, and immediately after forming that thought, he received a piercing glare. 

"What are you grinning about?!"

"Nothing!" Clark snaps back to focus, but soon, his thoughts wander to the bed in Bruce's room, how soft and comfy it was...

Unconsciously, he flies faster.

~~~

Clark wakes to Superbun nudging against his face. Groaning, he pats it aside, and yawns noisily.

Bruce stirs next to him. "Good morning, Clark..." he mumbles, and threw a pillow over his head.

Superbun goes on to wake him up. Burrowing in between the pillows, it pries open the two layers, causing Bruce to glare. 

"He's grown bigger, hasn't he?" Clark says.

Groggily, Bruce sits up. "Superbun? Yeah, it keeps stealing my food."

"Batbun only ever works on my laptop." He glances to the bookshelf, where Batbun is perched on the very top.

"Maybe I should get it a laptop, then." 

"Yeah, maybe." Clark says absentmindedly, admiring how the morning sun shines with just the right intensity and angle onto Bruce's face. 

Bruce catches him staring. "What?"

Clark grins. "Nothing."

Scowling at his boyfriend's stupid smile, Bruce gets up to shower. Superbun immediately flies to catch up.

He holds up a finger. "No, you stay here with Batbun."

Hearing the name, it hesitates for a bit, but ultimately agrees and floats on top of the bookshelf, giving Batbun a little nudge.

Apparently, Batbun was awake all this time. As Superbun nudges against it, it bounces up like a spring and somersaults onto its back, making it yelp in surprise. Soon, the two are engaged in a wrestling competition, dust flying everywhere.

Clark signs. Looks like the two needs some time to get used to each other. For the time being, it's best to hide Bruce's kryptonite. God knows what'll happen if Batbun gets his hands on them.

~~~

Clark insisted on introducing the buns to the league. After all, he thought that they are just as capable as them and should be allowed on missions. Bruce grudgingly approved, on condition that they behave.

Later, on the Watchtower, dozens of leaguers form a circle in front of the meeting table, with Superbun and Batbun in the middle of the table.

"Oh. My. God." Diana exclaims. "They are so cuuUUUte!!!" She squishes Superbun happily, but when she turns to Batbun, it throws out a smokebomb and disappears into the shadows.

After Diana has had her fun, the rest of the leaguers clamor to play with Superbun. Scared by the sudden attention, it flies to take refuge in Bruce's cape.

"Well, he's a bit shy." Clark jokes and pulls Superbun out of the cape. "Where is that Batbun..." Using his x-ray vision, he finds it sulking behind the main computer and pulls it out as well.  

Upon seeing the two reunited again, Barry clasps his hands together. "Superbun meets Batbun. I love it!"

Batbun hisses at Clark and flattens its ears. As the leaguers woo over the buns, Bruce and Clark went to the corner of the room, out of earshot.

"Are you sure they can go on league missions, Clark? They're just buns!"

"As I'd told you, without Batbun, I wouldn't have taken down Lex that easily. I think we should give them a chance."

"Yes, but what would the media say? Having two buns fighting crime is not going to go unnoticed!"

"You didn't notice Batbun, didn't you?"

Bruce looks perplexed. "What do you mean?"

"Yesterday, before I went to Lex, Batbun came over to Gotham for a while. After he came back from whatever he was doing, probably crime fighting, we went to take care of Lex."

"The fu- Why didn't you tell me this?!"

Hearing the raised voices, all heads swirl around to look at the pair.

Bruce glared at them, then continued. "If anyone saw Batbun last night-"

Clark cut him off. "It's okay, you agreed that they can join us on missions! So, people will see them sooner or later."

"I still haven't thought of what to tell the public."

"Why not tell the truth?"

"Then those anti-aliens will go crazy trying to take them down! I can't risk that."

"What about...we say that it was an accident while fighting with magic?"

Bruce made a thoughtful sound. "That could work."

Suddenly, there is an explosion at the table. Catching the pair's attention.

"Looks like Batbun is about to murder someone."

"No, he won't." Bruce yawns.

"You look tired." 

"How can I not be? With you being so passionate last night." Bruce smirks.

Clark grins and kisses those perfect lips.

"Go get a room you two!" Hal yells from across the room, earning a smack on the head by Diana.

Bruce looks annoyed for a second. "How many times have I told you Clark, not in public..."

"Then stop being so damn attractive." Clark whispers next to his ear.

Another explosion from the table. Bruce heaves a sign.

"Come one, let's go and rescue them before they burn the place down."

~~~

Night comes. Batman sits perched on top of a looming gargoyle, observing the activities below through white lens.

Batbun mimics him, narrowing its eyes and letting its cape fly with the wind.

Suddenly, the wind changes direction, and the cape smacks it in the face. Hissing and jumping around, it manages to tear itself off the tangle.

Bruce can't help but grin. "Oh, wait till Clark hears this..."

Batbun gives its most threatening glare.

"Oh please, that doesn't work on me." Bruce snorts and turns his attention back to business. The GCPD rooftop. Jim should be here soon.

And there he is. Coffee in hand and cigar in the other, his ginger hair messy and streaked with white, he strolls towards the batsignal and turns it on.

Bruce and Batbun leap down and touches the ground together in perfect synchronization.

"Oh. Hey, Batman. Glad you could make it." Jim lights his cigar.

"Likewise, Gordon."

Jim takes out a file. "We searched everything we have, but this the only thing we had on him."

Bruce flips it open. A single page, and a photo of a middle-aged man with a green mask and hat, decorated with ridiculous question marks. 

"Yeah, I know. I thought he was called Questionman at first, or The Confusion, you know, you and your heroes' names...but it turned out to be more absurd. The Riddler. I can't even."

"Well, thanks, Jim. I'll try to get a lead on this."

"No problem, Batman, just call me if you need any help."

Bruce nods. "There's something I need to tell you."

Jim raises an eyebrow. "Nothing serious, I hope."

"No, it's... I have a sidekick now." On cue, Batbun leaps out behind him and lands on the files.

Jim looks at him as if he'd just told him that he could grow wings and fly. "What. Is. That....thing?!"

"This, is my new sidekick. Jim, meet Batbun. Batbun, this is Jim Gordon."

Batbun extends one of its ears forward. Hesitantly, Jim shakes it.

"Where in the bloody hell did you get a pet like this?!"

"Long story. Remember the fight with Enchantress? It just happened."

Jim scratches his chin thoughtfully. "Are you sure this, Batbun, is capable of taking on criminals itself?"

"So far, yes."

"Very well then, I guess I'll tell my colleagues about this..." With a groan, he sulks back to the office, sipping his never-ending coffee.

~~~

"Alright people, listen up! Batman has a sidekick now!" 

Heads shoot upwards in curiosity. 

"Really! What does he look like?"

"Did he have a cape as well?"

"Is he as hot as Batman?"

Jim pinches the space between his eyes. "Firstly, this sidekick isn't even human."

"Ooh! Like Superman?"

"No..."

An officer's hand shoots into the air. "Then what is it? A dog or...?"

Jim takes a deep breath. "No. It's a... round...black piece of dough...with ears. And a cape."

"...Come again?"

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Batman swooped down on top of an old warehouse. According to the information Gordon has given him and his own instinct, Riddler might be here.

Batbun was not far behind. It landed next to Bruce and began to survey the activities below.

"Heat sensors are showing me at least a dozen goons down there. The one in the middle must be Riddler. We don't know what he's capable of yet, so don't take any chances. Understood?" 

Batbun ignored him and crashed through the window. Goons from all direction began to shout and raise their guns but were soon taken out one by one soundlessly. 

Bruce rubbed his eyes tiredly. Maybe he should just let Batbun handle this.

After taking out all the goons, Batbun approached a man with a loose fitting green flock coat, covered in preposterous question marks. The man peered at Batbun.

"Why, I was expecting the Gotham Bat to show up, not a rat! How disappointing." The man began to leave in the opposite direction, calmly swinging his cane over his shoulder.

Offended, Batbun hissed and jumped onto his shoulders, and flipped him backwards, sending him crashing onto the floor.

Riddler patted his suit and sat up painfully. "Oh, I can see that Batman sent you. I didn't know he keeps a rat as a pet!" 

Batbun headbutted him.

Riddler smiled as if he were dreaming. "Well, riddle me this! What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end and the end of every race?"

Sensing no reaction, he tried again. "Too hard for you? Well here's an easier one! What belongs to you, but is used by others?"

Batbun twitched its ears in annoyance.

"Oh. You can't talk. Never mind then." He got to his feet, brushing his dusty coat indifferently. "Well, little guy. How about you go back and tell Batman to come over, so we can have a little fun? Huh?"

Suddenly, the pale moonlight flickers, leaves rustle, and a dark shadow drops in like a curtain, his features masked by the shadows

"You wanted me. Here I am." The dark figure growled.

"Ah! Batman! Haha, you scared me! Your pet rabbit and I were just talking about you!" 

"Cut the crap, Crane. What do you want?"

"Riddle me this! What is always on its way here, but never arrives?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Wrong! The answer is tomorrow! Another one, Batman! We could do this all day!"

Bruce looked at Batbun. It nodded in understanding and began to approach Riddler from behind.

"Riddle me this! The more you take away from it the larger it grows, what is it?"

"A hole." Bruce stated, completely bored.

"I applaud you, Batman. But can you solve this, Wh-" Before he could finish, a quick jab to his neck knocked him out. He fell to the ground, blissfully unconscious.

"Nice work, Batbun." Bruce slapped a pair of handcuffs onto him and called Gordon. 

"Jim? Batman here, I've got Riddler. Sending coordinates now." He tapped a bunch of numbers into his gauntlet and saw Batbun kicking the unconscious man, a look of pure hatred on its face.

Batman never smiles, but this is one of the few times he does.

~

They spent the rest of the night kicking butt and punching bad guys. Bruce loves the reaction they make when they see Batbun, a beautiful transition from confusion to humour to fear. Sweeping the streets took much less time, and by the time they went back, it was only midnight.

Back in the batcave, Bruce tore his suit off and left it on the floor, as usual. Alfred will take care of it. Going up to his bedroom, he heard laughter coming from the television room.

"What are you watching now, Clark?" Bruce signed as he entered. "Please don't tell me it's Spiderman again."

Clark was seated comfortably on the floor surrounded by a fortress of cushions and blankets. Superbun was perched on his head. Popcorn and chip bags were littered all over the floor, and the sofa was pushed aside to make more space.

"It is! Let's watch it together, Bruce!" Clark shouted happily. "I'm sure Batbun will like it as well!"

"This is the tenth time you've watched this." 

"It's the first for Superbun! Come on, it's a movie night!" Clark said as he shuffled to make space for Bruce.

Despite himself, Bruce smiled and sat down next to Clark, and immediately, he was wrapped by a castle of pillows and blankets. 

"I don't need thi-" He stopped as Clark snuggled next to him. A blush crept up his neck as he realised they were under the same blanket.

"How do you like it? The Fortress of Blankets." Clark smiled as he hugged Bruce by the waist.

"Hmp, not bad."

In the periphery of his eye, Bruce saw Batbun at the corner of the room, totally bored by the movie. Superbun tried to approach it, but every time it gets within five centimetres, Batbun hops away, leaving a very sad Superbun. Soon, it gave up and floated back on top of Clark's head to enjoy the movie.

Clark saw them as well. "Remember when we were like that?"

Bruce grinned. "They'll come around eventually, just like us."

"You mean they'll start dating?"

"Well...how does bun dating even work?"

"You push them into a room and, well."

Bruce snorted. "I'm pretty sure they don't...you know."

"Yep."

"Yeah."

"You do know they can hear us, right?"

"Well," Bruce looked at Batbun, who's busy grooming its ears, "I don't think they know what we meant."

Clark laughed, then suddenly snaps his neck back to the television. "Oh, look! It's my favourite part!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got sick last week which inspired me to write this chapter.

The first thing Clark noticed when he woke up was that the bed was unusually hot. He shifted, then noticed another thing. Bruce's heartbeat was higher than normal.  

Worried, he sat up, and looked down at Bruce. The man was lying face-down, hugging the cushions against his face. His hair was slick with sweat, and as Clark placed his palm over his neck, it was burning hot. 

Clark dashed out to find Alfred. The old butler was busy cooking in the kitchen, as usual. 

Alfred peered at Clark. "Good morning, Master Clark." 

"Morning, Alfred. I... I think Bruce has a fever." 

"Oh," Alfred replied after a full second, "in that case, can you take an ice pack in the fridge and bring it up to him? I'll be there in a minute." 

"Okay..." Using super speed, Clark took an ice pack and zipped back up to the master bedroom in less than a second. Bruce was now sprawled across the bed, his face has a slight pink tinge to them, and his eyelashes fluttered over his sweat-soaked face. 

"Hey." Clark whispered as he placed the ice pack over Bruce's forehead. "Alfred will be here in a sec." 

Bruce mumbled something incoherent and squeezed his eyes shut.  

The doors swung open, and in came Alfred holding a tray of water and pills. He placed them next to the bed and turned to Clark. "Can you help him?" 

"Sure." One by one, Bruce swallowed the colourful pills, wincing with every gulp. 

All went fine until the third pill. Without warning, Bruce started coughing violently, his face became red and contorted, as if holding something back. 

Without thinking, Clark picked him up and flew to the bathroom. As soon as they touched the marble floor, Bruce broke free and stumbled towards the toilet, throwing up in the bowl with violent convulses. 

Clark rubbed his palm along his back, then noticed a dark shape in the sink. It was Batbun, lying next to a piece of soap, its flanks heaving heavily. 

"I'll be right back..." Curious, Clark approached him, but as he tried to touch him, Batbun threw up into the sink. 

"Oh man..." Clark rubbed the little guy. Its ears drooped down. "I'll call Superbun for you..." 

As if on cue, Superbun zoomed into the bathroom. Seeing Batbun, he floats next to it, poking against it anxiously. Batbun was just about to kick him away, but suddenly started shaking, and soon threw up again. 

Superbun nuzzled him, took off his cape, and wrapped Batbun with it. Satisfied, he snuggled up against him.  

Content, Clark turned back to Bruce. The vomiting has subsidized just enough for him to breathe again. Heaving, he flushed the toilet and rested his forehead on the rim, closing his eyes. 

Alfred came in and took care of the mess. Clark carried Bruce back to the bedroom, the man completely worn out and exhausted. Once on the bed, Bruce hoarded every blanket in sight and wrapped himself up with them, groaning into the pillow. 

Clark sat down next to him. Although he was soaked in sweat, Bruce was shivering under all the different layers of blankets. Frowning, Clark went to find Alfred, but soon decided against it. He could take care of Bruce himself. 

Leaning in close to his ear, he whispered, "I'll be right back," and flew up into the sky, past the Earth's atmosphere and into space. 

The sun was shining magnificently. Clark basked in the warm radiation, taking in as much heat as he can. Energy from the sun poured into his every cell, filling him with that familiar sensation of power. Once satisfied, he sped back to Earth, re-entry heating him up further. 

Back in the bedroom, Clark hugged Bruce, his warmth seeping through the layers of blankets, warming up the man underneath them. Bruce signed and nestled his head into Clark's neck, neither man saying anything, only hugging each other as if the world depends on it. 

Eventually, Bruce fell asleep, his breathing became slow and rhythmical. Clark got up and saw Alfred standing by the door, a smile on his face. 

"Thank you, Master Clark," he gave him a genuine smile, wrinkles crinkling up his eyes and mouth. "I will take care of Master Bruce now, if you need to go to work." 

"Work...? Oh Rao!" Clark dashed to get his bag and glasses, disappearing in a gush of wind. "Perry is going to kill me..." He mumbled as he zipped back up to say goodbye to Alfred.  

Still fumbling with his tie, he flew away to Metropolis in top speed. 

~~~ 

Bruce woke in a haze. His head was throbbing and there was a constant and aching pain in his back. Dazed, he got up, rubbing his sore temples. 

"I see that you're feeling better, master Bruce." It was Alfred, carrying another tray of colourful pills and a glass of water. He sat down next to Bruce and felt his forehead. 

"Still a little hot, you should rest after taking your medicine, sir." 

Grumbling and grudgingly, Bruce took the pills, and swallowed them in a single glup. 

"Where are the two..."  

"They are still in the washroom, sir. I wanted to take them somewhere more comfortable, but they were fast asleep, and I didn't want to disturb them." 

Bruce muttered something and began making his way towards the bathroom. There, on the sink next to the bar of soap, lay Superbun and Batbun, who hadn't moved an inch. 

Sulking towards the sink, Bruce glared at his reflection in the mirror. The circles under his eyes has certainty gotten darker, and his face was blanched, the skin dull and tight.  

He turned the tap on, and the sudden noisy gush of water shocked him so much that he almost fainted. Gritting his teeth, he splashed water onto his face, the coolness doing little to ease the dizzying throb in his head. 

Batbun awoke and squinted as some water fell onto his ears. Tired eyes squinted at him as Bruce continued to wash his face in sluggish swirls. Slowly, it sipped the tiny puddle of water next to him, then closed his eyes, falling back into a deep sleep. 

As if he could sense distress, Superbun woke up shortly after. Inching closer to Batbun, he began to stroke him, causing him to shiver. Then, using the minimum power of his heat vision, Superbun warmed the sink up by a few degrees, and in a burst of super speed, retuned with bundles of blankets held in his mouth. 

He was just about to bury Batbun under the blankets when Bruce stopped him. Scooping up Batbun in one hand, he motioned with the other for Superbun to follow him. Still with a mouthful of blankets, he floated behind him. 

Bruce studied Batbun in his palm. His body felt softer, though the usually shiny dark coat has dulled. His ears were drooped, like two pieces of wet tissue. 

They reached the bedroom. Carefully as not to wake him, Bruce placed Batbun on Clark's pillow. Soon, Superbun came rushing in with his load of blankets, and wrapped Batbun until he looked like a roll of sushi. Satisfied, he settled down next to him, his huge lapis eyes tender and alert at the same time. 

Smiling, Bruce tucked in and slept as well, the pounding in his head noticeably lighter. 

~

The day has been downright miserable for Clark. As expected, he was yelled at for at least fifteen minutes for being late to work, and was assigned extra work on traffic statistics, the most boring topic he could have ever thought of. 

And now, the Justice League has called every member for a meeting in the Watchtower. Finishing his sandwich and almost choking on it, Clark hurried into an alley and changed into his Superman suit. 

He was halfway there when his comn buzzed again. It was Diana.

"Kal! Where are you?" 

"I'm-" Coughing, Clark managed to stuff the remaining sandwich down his throat. "I'm on my way."

"Hurry. And where's Bruce?"

"He has a fever!"

"A fee-fur? What's that?"

"It means he's sick, he can't come to the meeting."

A short pause. "What about Batbun?"

"Sick as well. Hey, open the doors for me, I'm almost there."

"Alright," she signed. 

In front of him stood the Watchtower, orbiting in space. Slowly, the huge metallic doors of the entrance gate slid open, revealing a huge landing spot and the Javelin parked nearby. Clark floated inside, and the doors clanked shut behind him.

He made a beeline for the meeting room, and found that everyone else was already there, except Bruce. Flushing slightly, he went to his seat and sat down.

Diana, itching to begin, stood up and went to the front of the room. But before she could utter a single syllable, Barry's hand shot into the air.

"Uh-we're gonna start now? But Bats' not even here yet!"

"Kal said he has a thing called fee-fur so he couldn't come. It must be a very dangerous object to keep even Batman occupied."

Hal swung his legs off the table and stared at Diana. "Waaaait a second. You mean Batman's sick?"

"I said he has a fee-fur."

Hal reclined back into his seat as if he were contemplating about life. "SoOOoo...Batman's sick. But that doesn't sound right! He's a vampire, he can't get sick!"

"Hal, I told you! Batman's not a vampire!" Barry hissed.

"Nonononono. You weren't observing," Hal remarked, "He only ever comes out at night, and he hates garlics. Like, did you see him snapping at me to put my garlic flavoured chips away that time? He looked so pissed! Also..."

Diana cut him off with a slam on the table. "Enough of your gossip! We're here to talk about business! If Batman can't come, then that's it! We have to do this nonetheless!"

Barry and Hal hung their heads down like children being caught by their mother. Barry flushed as red as his suit.

"Now, let's continue, shall we?" She asked, her tone noticeably softer, "I called you all for a reason. Something weird has been reported from Themyscira just now. It appears to be-"

Suddenly, there was a wiping noise coming from outside. Curious, all heads turned to find the source of the sound. Eventually, they found Superbun scratching at the window outside. Clark mentally facepalmed.

"It's...I'll get him." He flew off, and returned a second later, Superbun sitting happily in his palm.

Diana breathed through her nose. She never knew that leading a meeting is so difficult. Seeing everyone settled down once more, she continued. "As I was saying..."

A bubbly sound stopped here mid-sentence. She glared to where Superbun sat and found that there were bubbles coming out of its mouth.

Clark looked apologetic. "Sorry, he must have eaten some..." He lowered down to Superbun's level and hissed, "what have you been eating?"

Superbun bobbed twice.

"Um, I think that's...cake? Yeah, let's go with that. Cake." He cleared his throat and looked away from Diana's piercing glare.

"Guys," she started, "this is serious, please. I believe that Darkseid may be planning an attack soon."

The mention of Darkseid shut everyone up, even Superbun stopped bubbling, his huge eyes focused on Diana.

"The motherbox entrusted to us Amazons has been found glowing just now. Darkseid is trying to activate it so that he could come to Earth!"

Barry started to panic. "But...but we drove him back ages ago!"

"It doesn't mean that he won't return."

"So...should I go and alert the government?"

Diana looked doubtful. "I don't think they're fast enough to catch what you're saying, Flash."

"I could do it! I mean, I'm the only one here who's legally allowed into government facilities. And they listen to me. Most of the time." Clark said.

Nodding, she continued barking out orders to the rest. Finally, everyone has a task and were leaving. As Clark turned to leave, he noticed that Superbun was gone.

He was unable to locate him as he didn't have a heartbeat, and after a few minutes of trying, he gave up and returned to the Daily Planet, oblivious to all that's happening on the other side of the world.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The buns seem to be stronger than they let on.

"WHAT?!" 

The yell made Clark almost jump out of his seat in the Watchtower. Peeking up at the furious Amazon, he finally understood why no one would ever want to piss her off.

"Uh, Diana? What is it?"

She slammed her hand down on the table, making everyone flinch in fear. "Artemis just called. Our motherbox is gone."

Now it's Clark's turn to yell. "What?! But...how?"

Diana crossed her arms. "Not one of my sisters saw who did it. Whoever we're dealing with, it's much more dangerous than Darkseid."

"Well, if you'd installed security cameras..." Hal trailed off, wiltering under Diana's glare.

"This is unacceptable! We have to find out where they took it!"

"No." Arthur said. It was his first word in two weeks. "It's gone. We have to protect the remaining motherboxes."

"I agree," Barry pipped, "If Darkseid gets them, it's over."

"Alright..." Signing, Diana contemplated, then barked out orders to the league. At the end, she turned to Clark.

"Help me tell Bruce, will you?"

"Of course."

Suddenly, his comm buzzed. It was Bruce. 

"Hey B! Are you feeling better-"

"Clark, can you explain something to me?" His tone was serious, and all in a sudden, Clark felt apprehensive. 

"Um, ok. What's happened?"

"Can you explain why there are three motherboxes in my cave?"

"Wha-wait-" Struggling to process the words he'd just heard, he stuttered, his mind a confused bundle. "That's...impossible. Are you hallucinating from your fever?"

"Say that again and I'm going to shove kryptonite up your ass." He growled.

"Alright! I'm on my way!" Shutting the comm quickly, Clark sped down to Earth, desperate for answers.

~

Clark stood dumbfounded in the Batcave. Bruce was standing with his arms crossed in front of him, and next to the computer, were three glowing motherboxes.

"Bu-that...how?" Clark stammered, waving his hands in the air as if they can give a better explanation.

"I found them in this exact spot when I woke up, so I went on checking the security cameras. Look." Bruce switched on the computer to reveal the footage. It all happened in less than a second. The boxes were somehow magically transported there by a blue streak, a flash which disappeared as soon as it appeared.

"Well..." Clark scratched his chin, peering at Bruce, "That wasn't me, if that's what you're suggesting..."

"I'm not saying it's you, Clark, but-" Suddenly, a series of bubbling sounds interrupted him. 

Bruce rubbed his temples. "Clark, I swear-"

"What? It's not me!"

The bubbling noises continued, then followed by some cracking sounds.

Just before Bruce freaked out, Alfred appeared out of nowhere, and pointed at the air vent. "Master Bruce, you have a guest."

All three pairs of eyes turned towards the air vent, and found Superbun nestling in between the bars while munching on a metal bar. 

"Superbun?! I thought you were in my apartment!" Clark exclaimed, delighted to see his pet. He turned to Bruce. "Maybe he saw who did it, B!"

Bruce slapped his face. "Clark, he's the one who did it!"

"Oh."

Striding over to the boxes, Bruce whipped out his scanner and studied the boxes. Clark, on the other hand, was still trying to process the turn of events.

"But...why?"

Bruce nodded towards Superbun. "You ask him, maybe he just wants to help."

"Yeah, but, putting all three motherboxes in one place is basically a glowing red target for Darkseid."

"I know. Tell Diana. Won't want her to kill us for stealing her motherbox." Bruce trailed off, glancing at a dark area underneath the computer. Signing, he reached out his hand, and plucked something out.

Bruce studied the fuming Batbun in his hand, and held it by its cape instead. It dangled upside-down, but made no action except glare.

"What are you doing there?" He huffed and put it down. Instantly, Superbun zipped down and stood by its side,  and beamed with pride.

"Hm. You guys did this?" Bruce asked.

Superbun nodded eagerly.

"Did you realise that Darkseid can find them easier now that you've placed them together?"

The two buns looked at each other, then back up at Bruce.

He signed. "I thought so. Clark, warn the league. We're going to have a lot of trouble now..."

"Uh, Bruce?" Clark said, scanning a box with his x-ray. "These are all deactivated."

"Wait, what?" Bruce stormed towards him, scrutinizing at the box in his hands. "They're still glowing." He pointed out.

"That's because they've been recently activated, but not anymore. It's disabled."

"So, what you're saying is that..." The two of them turned simultaneously towards the buns.

"Darkseid is back in Apocalypse." Clark finished.

Bruce threw up his hands and stormed away. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me."

"No, the evidence is all there! Just check the satellites..."

"It took the entire league a week to send him back last time, but a day for two buns??" Bruce yelled.

"I know." Clark said, then looked at the buns, who're busy grooming themselves. 

Bruce looked at them in disbelief for a whole minute, then stormed upstairs. "I need some air!" He shouted.

Superbun burped, multicoloured bubbles floating out from its mouth.

~

Apparently, Diana didn't kill anyone over the stolen motherbox. Instead, she invited the buns over to Themyscira and threw a huge celebration party with the other amazons. All of them agreed to give the two a special privilege for entering the island whenever they want.

And now, Clark is at a reporter meeting, but not as an audience. In front of him, dozens of reporters were busying scribbling away in their notebooks, or snapping pictures at the buns standing next to his mic.

"Well, that's what happened. Any questions?" Clark asked the crowd.

Almost everyone shot up their hands. Clark indicated to a girl at the front row. "You."

"Well, Mr Superman. I'd like to ask how were they created? Some kind of...genetically modified bunny? An AI?"

Clark cleared his throat and remembered what Bruce told him. Keep the answer concise. "Well, they're gifts from the green lantern guardians, and-"

He was interrupted by another reporter. "So does everyone in the Justice league have one of those?" He asked, pointing his pen at the buns.

"No. Only me and Batman.”

A hmm rose up from the crowd, as heads nodded in understanding.

Lois, who's been passive for the entire meeting, suddenly shot her hand up in the air. Clark smiled to let her speak.

"Lois Lane from the Daily Planet...forgive me for being blunt, but, it only took them a day to defeat Darkseid? And a whole week for the Justice League?"

The hmms gave way to murmurs, as Clark shifted uncomfortably. "...Yes."

Lois chewed on her pen, staring at her notes with unbreakable concentration. "So in a way, these, buns, are stronger than the entire Justice League?"

"...Yeea-you could say that." Clark faltered, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. The room has become distressingly quiet.

"Hmm." Lois considered for a moment before sitting back down. Sensing the tension in the room, Superbun gave a huge burp.

Batbun was sent flying backwards as the wave of colourful bubbles hit it, but bounced off the wall instead, falling to the ground in a ball of fury.

It all happened in a second, and as the crowd cheered and clapped and snapped pictures, Clark made a hasty escape for the dressing room, and as he turned, came face to face with Batman.

"Bru-I mean, Batman. You saw what happened. I-"

"Don't beat yourself up, I won't know how to answer that as well." Bruce said.

"So...what are we going to do? The media is obviously more into them than us now."

Bruce signed. "Yeah, so much for low-profile..."

"So what now?"

"Find a way to get them to the Watchtower and we'll discuss further actions."

"Alright," Clark signed, "I'll try my best."

He stepped back out to the meeting room, and unsurprisingly, no one noticed his entrance. Every reporter was cluttered around Batbun and Superbun, busy filming every little move they make. Superbun was hidden underneath Batbun's cape, frightened by the sudden attention. Batbun, on the other hand, was about to throw a sleeping gas bomb.

Clark sped over, snatching the bomb at the last second before it detonated. "Hey, people, can you give them some space? Please? Thank you very much."

He scooped the buns into his hands, and felt them snuggle against his palm. "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, but this meeting is over. They need rest as well, you know."

The reporters gave a collective aww and snapped a few last pictures.

"When will we get to see them again?" A reporter asked.

"Probably soon, probably never. It depends on their mood, really." Clark said, heading towards the window. "I have to go now, thank you all for your, um, enthusiastic support!"

He flew out the window, his heart a conflicted turbine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some inconsistent posting, not that it already is...


	6. Chapter 6

Today, Bruce has decided to give the buns proper training. Now, they are gathered in the training room of the Batcave, a round plateau in the centre surrounded by thundering waterfalls and squeaking bats.

"Alright, you know the rules. No killing, no playing dead, no kryptonite. You are allowed to use your powers. The one who subdues the other wins and gets a cookie..." Bruce glanced at Batbun's bored expression. "...or a piece of wholemeal bread with five different kinds of oat."

Superbun jumped up and down in excitement, while Batbun groomed its ears, surprisingly calm and relaxed.

"Ready? Round one, fight!"

Superbun made the first move. Dashing towards Batbun with super speed, it managed to sit on top of it. Batbun, however, has planted a timed bomb on Superbun's cape before the match has even begun, and with a twitch of its ears, it went off, sending Superbun flying away in a trail of smoke.

Batbun grappled onto Superbun, straddling the other in mid-air. After a round of hissing and biting, the flying pair crashed into the rocky walls of the cave, but they didn't stop, and were back in the air in no time.

Suddenly, Batbun fell off. Spreading its cape, it glides back down, but no one could have anticipated the bats joining the fun. Out of nowhere, a huge black bat swooped down and caught Batbun in its mouth and swallowed it. 

Shocked by the sudden change of events, Superbun flew towards the bat and began punching its stomach. The bat screeched and flapped away, only to be caught up by Superbun effortlessly. Flying in top speed, it circled the bat, spinning it around and around until it plummeted to the ground.

Bruce jogged over to where the bat laid. It looked green, and a second later, it puked all over the expensive metal floor of the training room. And in the mess, Batbun's ears poked out.

Screeching in fury, the bat flapped away, leaving behind a Batbun covered in sick and hair. Disgusted, it remained where it was and attempted to get rid of the slick, everything else forgotten.

Suddenly, Superbun fell onto Batbun, and pinned it to the ground. However hard Batbun struggled, he could not escape.

Bruce laughed. "Alright, that's enough." Superbun got off Batbun and floated in the air, obviously proud that he'd won, a huge contrast to Batbun, who looked as if someone dressed him up in pink flowers and skirts. Bruce took a chocolate chip cookie out from behind his back and held it in front of him. "Congrats Superbun, here's a cookie." 

The cookie disappeared within a second in a blur of red and blue.

"Now, let's get you guys a bath." Bruce turned towards the lift, and saw Clark sitting casually on the staircase, a cup of coffee in his hand.

"The new Pokémon game looks great!" Clark joked, sipping his coffee. 

"And you just won." Bruce scowled with exaggeration.

Clark put on an innocent look and crossed his legs in front of him, grinning widely. "So, I guess I deserve a reward then?"

"Get out!"


	7. Chapter 7

Superbun was missing. Again.

It disappeared during dinner, speeding away in the middle of a cookie. Batbun looked unsurprised, and continued scowling at everyone at the table.

"Why does he always do that? This is the third time today." Clark signed, looking sadly at the unfinished cookie.

Bruce snorted. "Kind of like you, running away in the middle of a kiss."

"But...I don't hear anything." Clark frowned, straining his ears, "Maybe he just felt like flying?"

Bruce shrugged and slurped on his spaghetti.

They ate in silence for a few moments before Clark's phone rang. It was Hal.

He sounded less obnoxious than usual. "Hey Supes! Thanks for the backup!"

Clark frowned, looking at Bruce with a quizzical expression. "Backup? You mean..."

"Yeah, Superbun was sooooo OP. You should have seen how he blasted Sinestro away! It was so awesome! Jessica got the whole thing on tape. Well...not actual tape, you know, on our power rings. I've gotta send you that..." Hal ranted on and on.

"Uh, well, that's cool! I'm glad that Superbun could help you guys out!" Clark played along, shutting Hal up. He glanced at Bruce's impatient scowl. "Look, I'm busy now, maybe you can tell me later?"

"Sure! Sure, bro. I'll send you the tape." Hal ended the call as quickly as he started it. 

"Let me guess. Superbun?" Bruce asked, observing Clark carefully.

"Yeah, sounds like he helped the green lanterns defeat Sinestro..." Clark said.

Bruce signed, staring at a faraway point. "Just as I feared. They're taking over our jobs."

"Well, the way I see it, they're actually _helping_ us with our jobs, not taking over." Clark said, trying to explain to his stubborn boyfriend. "Just think. More people can be saved. More disasters avoided. Plus, they don't even need to go to work! It's justice 24/7."

"Whatever," Bruce huffed and stabbed at his spaghetti.

~

Bruce yawned, stepping out of the shower. There's nothing better than a hot and steamy bath in the morning. The second his foot touched the soft and fluffy floor, he felt a poke on his stomach.

"Clark, how many times do I have to tell yo-" He froze as he saw a tiny batarang embedded in his stomach. His gaze shifted upwards, and he came face to face with an annoyed Batbun, hanging by the ceiling with a grappling gun. 

"Alright." He gritted, "What do you want?"

He was handed a notecard.

"What is this..." He muttered, flipping it open under the impatient stare of Batbun. There were scribbles and doodles on it, the handwriting surprisingly clear for a bun. It was the blueprint for a miniature jetpack.

Bruce smirked despite himself. "Let me guess. You're tired of Superbun carrying you all the time?"

Batbun hissed threateningly.

"Fine. I'll make you this on two conditions. One: Never sneak into my bathroom again. And two," He pointed at the batarang on his abdomen, "Don't do that again. It's impolite." 

Batbun considered for a whole minute, but ultimately agreed with a twitch of its ear.

"Good. Now get out."

~

"Meeting, people!" Perry boomed from across the office, making people scatter. Grudgingly, Clark locked his computer and trudged towards Perry.

He looked him dead in the eye. "Quit mooching around, Kent! I want you to get the exclusive this time!"

"Okay, chief. What's the topic?"

Ominously, Perry held up a picture as if that explains everything. It showed a blurry but recognisable shot of Batbun perched on top of Superbun, who's flying in mid-air.

Clark began to protest, but Perry shut him up before he could utter a word.

"No, Kent. Everything is about the buns now." He turned towards the others, who're standing stiffly in a semi-circle around him, and started booming out orders. 

"Alright. I want everything about Batbun and Superbun. Sports; how did they get the motherbox out of the podium? Travel; where did they come from? Gossip; have they met somebody? That's gonna sell..." He trailed off, then continued after thinking. "Health! What's their weight? What have they been eating? Business; how're they going to affect the stock market? Long term, short term. Politics; do they still stand for justice? And lifestyle," He looked at Clark scribbling furiously in his notebook, "The new world's finest."

Clark stopped writing and looked up, alarmed.

"Well? Come on!" Finally, Perry dismissed everyone with a wave of his hand, sending people scattering back to their desks with tons of work to do. 

Clark stared at the photo in his hand. This is going to be a long week.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce and Clark rethink their life choices.

Barely three days has passed, and now the buns are worldwide famous.

Clark's newest article "The New World's Finest" has gotten him nominated for a Pulitzer. Something he'd never dreamt of. Even Lois seemed happy for him.

Thousands of companies all over the world has contacted the Justice League, hoping to get Superbun and Batbun to do a fundraiser of some sort, but the only successful case was Wayne Enterprises, unsurprisingly.

And of course, the most notorious of criminal masterminds began showing themselves out in public, hoping to attract and defeat the two buns. But of course, they were quickly taken down by members of the Justice League.

In fact, global crime rates have been an all-time low. 

"You know," Bruce stated, chewing on a biscuit, "We could just quit our jobs."

Clark looked out the windows and stared at the misty Gotham skies. It was so much brighter and lacked the usual hungover mist that draped the city in gloominess. 

"They can protect this world better than we ever could. Just look at the crime rates."

"Bruce..." Clark signed, "The world still needs Batman."

"No, it doesn't." Bruce waggled a finger at him. "I'm ready to give up my mantle to someone better than me and leave Gotham to him. They are my successors."

He signed, putting down the biscuit, and stared out the window. "Plus, I won't be here forever." 

Something deep inside his chest wrenched and twisted, and Clark reached out to hold his hand, squeezing it with reassurement.

Slowly, as if in realisation, Bruce turned his head back to Clark, his gaze peaceful and comforting. The golden glow of the dying sun shone on his face, highlighting every curve. And in that moment, Clark was struck with adoration.

"Bruce," he whispered, leaning in, "If you really want to quit, then I'll do it as well."

"You don't have to do it for me, Clark."

"No, but we'll be together." He smiled, eyes warm with invitation.

"I... I don't know." Bruce admitted.

"You've always said that the day you quit being Batman is the day we'll be together." Clark said, "Did you mean it?"

"Clark, I..." Bruce signed, his eyes downcast. "Don't make me your one hope for a normal life."

"But what if I asked you?" Clark asked, and moved closer, never taking his eyes off him.

Bruce opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out. Finally, he clamped it shut and stared at his shoes, the slowly, certainly, looked back up into the warm cornflower blue eyes.

"Yes." It came out more as a hoarse whisper, and he cleared his throat in embarrassment. "Yes. Yes, I do."

Clark smiled, one which could outshine the sun. "That's all I needed to know." Moving his hands up, he caught Bruce in an embrace, and buried his head in the nook if his neck, taking in the warm scent.

Bruce let out a shuddering breath, and after a while, hugged him back, arms wrapping around his shoulders. Melting into the embrace, he closed his eyes in content.

They stayed like this for a few minutes, silent but reassured. 

Bruce broke the connection first, pulling away from Clark. His face was tinged with a slight pink, and he bit his lip, looking at every direction except Clark's.

Smiling, Clark cupped his face, and brushed his lip with a thumb. Tipping Bruce's head up, he leaned forward.

Neither was sure who made the first move. As if in slow motion, they closed the gap between them, their lips connected, and they kissed. A gentle and forgiving kiss of soft lips and delicate tongues.

Hesitantly, they broke apart, still lingering on the other's touch. They stood like that for a moment, breaths mingling and eyes closed. Lost in the other's presence.

The tranquillity was ended by a clap. They spun their heads simultaneously towards the door. It was Hal, leaning on the clock with a huge grin on his face.

"Aww, isn't that sweet." He said, laughing at their crimson faces. 

Awkwardly, Clark retrieved his hands from Bruce. "Hal? What are you doing here?"

"Dude, I'm here for Alfred's birthday party. I came a bit early, so I figured I'll explore a bit," He grinned. "Never knew you're the easily embarrassed type, bats."

Bruce groaned and buried his head into Clark's chest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll be more bun action next chapter, I promise.


	9. Chapter 9

Bruce wandered aimlessly along the metropolian street. Since his supposed retirement as Batman, he'd begun to have more time to himself, and do what "normal" people should do. Flashing a casual smile at no one in particular, he took a newspaper and flipped it open. The headlines read: Buns save factory workers from a fierey doom! And in the middle was a group photo of the GCPD with buns on their heads.

  
He smiled and returned the paper. The buns had no trouble holding up. Of course, he realised that Batman couldn't just vanish for good, but the buns sure gave him a much more flexible timetable.

  
One example is the date he's about to have. Meeting Clark out of work on a morning was impossible in the past, given their busy schedules and that Bruce usually doesn't wake until noon. That's why their dates were always fancy and efficient in the past, no time to lose. But now, they can take it easy.

  
Slowly, Bruce made his way to the harbour, and squinted angrily at the sun. One of the things he hated about Metropolis, seconded by Superman's arch nemesis, Lex Luthor.

  
He put on his Gucci shades and smiled contently as the world turned darker. If only everywhere were as dark as Gotham.

  
He was so busy visualizing how Metropolis would look in the dark that he didn't notice the thugs coming up behind him. Big and rough, they shoved him hard in the back.

  
Bruce stumbled for a few steps, barely regaining his balance. He whipped back, coming face to face with four henchmen, their faces scarred and unshaved.

  
He gave a good-natured smile. "Hello, gentlemen. Is there a problem?"

  
The guy in the front snarled, revealing a row of yellowish gray teeth. "Mr Wayne, you're coming with us."

  
Bruce took a step back as his hands sneaked into his pockets. "Why? Wha-what's happening? Is there a surprise party for me somewhere?" He chuckled.

  
"Yes. There's a party. And you're invited."

  
Out of nowhere, five more thugs appeared behind Bruce, surrounding him and blocking his escape route. He gave an overly exasperated sign and held up his hands. "Party poopers."

  
"What's that in your pocket?" A thug poked at him.

  
"Just my napkin." Bruce lied. "I have a runny nose today. Do you need a mask? My doctor said that it's quite contagious."

  
"Take it out."

  
"Are you sure? I mean... it's full of snot and-"

  
The thug glared angrily at him. Pretending to be intimidated, Bruce lowered his gaze and reached for his pocket. He was just about to activate the smoke pellet when the thug in front of him vanished in a whisk of wind.

  
Smirking, he held his hands back up. "Ho, boys. I would stay and talk for a bit, but I've another party to attend to."

  
Another second, and all the thugs were gone in a flying cloud of dust. Coughing, Bruce waved away the dust, revealing a glowing Superbun floating in front of him.

  
"Hm. I could have handled that myself. But... good job." He gave its head a subtle pat.

  
Superbun did a victory spin.

  
"Wait. Come here." Bruce held out his hand, and let Superbun nestle in his palm. "You've grown even bigger. What has Clark been feeding you?"

  
"I just give him whatever I like to eat. You know, apple pies, cream cakes, waffles, he loves them just as I do!" Clark flew down next to Bruce and held his waist. "Sorry I'm late."

  
"No wonder Batbun hasn't grown an inch. All he eats is oatmeal and coffee, and coffee stunts one's growth!"

  
"True. That's why you're so tiny." Clark gave Bruce's hair a pat.

  
Bruce glowered. "Are we going to have lunch or not?"

  
~

  
Clark looked fondly at Superbun as it demolished another plate of lasagna. Its lapis body was splattered with tomato sauce and cheese. Chuckling, he took a napkin and wiped it clean.

  
Superbun chirped happily and jumped onto the menu again, jumping up and down with excitement.

  
"Another one? They're out of tomato sauce." Clark laughed as he x-rayed the kitchen. "You wanna try the mushroom risotto instead? It's nice."

  
Superbun bobbed its head.

  
"Alright, let me order."

  
Bruce gazed at his boyfriend, smiling at he ordered. It was the cutest thing he found about Clark, how natural it was for him to make people happy, genuinely happy. He can always read people's emotions like an open book, unlike himself, who needs hours of analysing to know what others are feeling.

  
He chewed on his steak and reached for the cheese powder, only to find it empty. "Oh come on- "

  
Clark smiled sheepishly as he glimsped at the empty lasagna plates. "I used to finish hundreds of bags of cheese powder when I was a teen. Ma had her truck loaded with them whenever she went grocery shopping."

  
"That's a lot of lasagna." Bruce smirked.

  
"Oh no, I eat it straight out of the bag." Clark laughed at Bruce's horrified expression. "Come on, that's the best way to eat it, not that you'd know, being raised with Alfred."

  
"He'd dismantle me if I ever eat anything straight from its packaging."

  
"We can try that when he's not looking..." Clark grinned. "We have to get cheese powder for Superbun anyways."

  
"Don't forget expresso and celery sticks for Batbun." Bruce raised an eyebrow.

  
"Ew." Clark stuck his tongue out in mock disgust.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took forever to update, but now that exams are (temporarily) over I have more time to write! 
> 
> Feel free to comment on what you'd like to see the buns do next!

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what you guys think! :3


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